970x125
We all know the three things you don’t talk about around the dinner table: money, religion, and politics. But do these once-sacred dinner-party rules still apply to Gen Z?
Religion isn’t the potentially hot-button issue it once was, with 28% of Americans identifying as religiously unaffiliated, and only 3 in 10 reporting they attend religious services regularly. Studies also show Gen Z and millennials are twice as likely as their Gen X and Baby Boomers counterparts to talk about money.
If you’re beginning to notice a trend in young people’s willingness to discuss contentious topics, it comes to a full stop when we talk—or rather don’t talk—about politics.
An online survey conducted by University of South Florida student intern Imani Hartfield at my organization, Collectively, found that the cultural heirloom of not talking politics has been passed down to yet another generation. 63% of the Gen Z respondents reported that politics had made relationships in their lives more tense. Yet, unlike in the pre-screen days, this generation feels that there is no escape from politics. With political content chasing young adults around social media, it’s no wonder their mental health has taken a hit.
Perception Versus Reality
It feels like no one can agree on anything nowadays. But is it possible that this is truly more of a feeling than an actuality? Pew Research found that 80% of adults think that Americans disagree not only on policy but also on basic facts. With the majority of Americans feeling this way it can be easy to feel as though there is no hope for reconciliation. But the reality isn’t as polarized as we think. The overwhelming majority of Americans agree that climate change is real, vaccines save lives, and that we need stricter gun control laws. Yet when we’re in our echo chambers, it can feel like everyone who voted for that other guy (or gal) lives in a warped reality.
It’s this perception of a disjointed America that leaves so many young people lonely, anxiety-ridden, and lacking a sense of belonging.
More Than a Disagreement
Sometimes, disagreeing about tax policy isn’t just about the numbers. Now, when we argue with one another, many feel as though the policy isn’t being attacked, but our identity is.
When you believe the other side doesn’t just see things differently but is actively dangerous, every political conversation carries a weight it probably shouldn’t. Young adults are feeling this impact as 62% of those surveyed by Collectively found that politics has negatively impacted their relationships.
Things Left Unsaid
Perhaps the best way to overcome this polarization is by having conversations. Exposing yourself to those with different points of view in a civil manner has a way of humanizing one another. Doing so allows you to understand others and empathize. Yet despite being more ostensibly connected than ever before, while many young people feel safe voicing their opinions, a majority of them choose not to, citing the desire to prevent an altercation.
What this suggests is that avoidance has become so habitual, so automatic, that it no longer requires a specific threat to kick in. People have already internalized the calculus: is this conversation worth the risk? More often than not, the answer is NO!. And while that might preserve short-term harmony, it quietly chips away at something important, the sense that you can be honest with the people in your life without it costing you something.
The Role of Social Media
Nobody is particularly surprised to learn that doom-scrolling through political content can give you the ick. But the survey data solidifies this feeling. 65% of participants in the Collectively study reported that political posts online leave them feeling stressed or anxious.
This may not be such an issue if we used social media to supplement our social lives instead of replacing them, but with Gen Z spending about 5 hours every day on social media, more people are choosing to binge polarizing content instead of having nuanced sit-down discussions.
The Buddy System
The antidote to political venom is a friend. 85% of respondents said they have at least one person in their lives that they can discuss politics with, without fear of jeopardizing the relationship.
That’s not a small thing. Social support is one of the most well-documented buffers against the psychological effects of chronic stress, and it doesn’t take a village to make a difference. One person is often enough.
There’s also something interesting in the data around in-group connection: for many respondents, talking with like-minded friends actually increased their sense of belonging. Polarization strains cross-group relationships, no question. But it can also pull people closer to those they already feel safe with. That’s not a perfect solution, but it’s a real one.
Where to Go From Here
This research is a reminder that political polarization isn’t just a problem for democracy, it’s a problem for people. Individual people, with bodies that carry stress and relationships that need honesty and minds that need rest.
If you’re a therapist, it’s worth asking clients whether political stress is showing up in their lives in ways they haven’t labeled as stress. If you’re an educator or a manager or just someone who runs meetings, it’s worth thinking about whether the spaces you create actually feel safe enough for honest conversation.
And if you’re one of the young adults this study describes, it might be worth finding your one person. The one you can actually talk to. You may think it’s a small thing, but sometimes having that one person to talk to is everything.
