970x125
There can be nothing better than living with a dog (or other companion animal) and having negotiable two-way relationships in which each individual has an equal say in how they want to be treated and respected.
Of course, the tenor of these and other relationships are highly dynamic and at any given time there has to be give-and-take by each party with the goal of attaining near equality over time. But, the real-life question at hand is how can some sort of equality or near equality be achieved when humans and their dogs differ in what they want and need, sometimes from moment-to-moment, and humans and their dogs are uniquely individual? There are countless nuances to the sorts of relationships they form and how they mature.
While these on-going situations and relationships can be somewhat daunting, I was pleased to learn of a recent highly acclaimed book by award-winning writer Laurel Saville titled How to Live with a Dog: Stories and Solutions for Humans with Dog Problems and Dogs with Human Problems in which she explores the science, psychology, and emotional heart of dog-human connections with empathy and on-the-ground solutions for those people who truly want to right the wrongs of how they relate to their canine companions. As you become fluent in “dog” your dog will learn to understand “human”—a win-win for all.
MB: Why did you write How to Live with a Dog?
Laurel Saville: Around ten years ago I surprisingly and reluctantly was drawn into becoming a dog behavior consultant, turning a private passion into an unexpected profession. After a few years of this work, I began writing short pieces on social media as a way to process some of my more difficult or emotional cases and share knowledge I’d gleaned with a larger audience.
Many people who only knew me as a dog trainer read these mini-essays and asked if I’d ever thought of writing a book. I’d laugh and say, “Been there, done that.” At around the same time, I was starting to experience a lot more symptoms of Parkinson’s disease which I’d had for quite a few years by then and realized that I’d have to stop one-on-one lessons and handling dogs before too long. I started to think that a book could stand in for myself and also reach more people.
So, I started working those short pieces into longer pieces, and one thing led to another. Lots of people can tell you how to train your dog. I want to show people how very much more than mere training is possible between you and your dog.
MB: Who do you hope to reach?
LS: I used to think this book would be helpful for anyone who wants to better understand and communicate, and have more fun with, their dog. I thought it would be good for people who are stuck on some dog behavior issue they can’t get past. My hope was simply to reach lots and lots of dog owners. But my readers have told me that I have a broader audience.
MB: What are some of the topics you consider and what are some of your major messages?
LS: The case histories I write about reveal that the basis of most of our conflict and misunderstandings about dogs, almost every “behavioral issue” we have with a dog, comes from us humans wanting them to act less like a dog. People want dogs to stop doing all those species-specific, natural, necessary things like barking, jumping, digging, wandering. They think a leashed walk, at their pace and at their side, on a concrete sidewalk, ignoring other dogs and allowing any human to pet and poke at you is a privilege they’re bestowing on their dog.
They have no idea it’s torture for the dog. Mostly because dogs are so good natured and tolerant of us. I want people to see the fullness of what a dog is and can be in the world and in their relationship with them. I want them to want more for their dogs and their relationship with their dogs.
MB: How does your work differ from others that are concerned with some of the same?
LS: I am not a dog trainer. I know how to train dogs, for sure, and I use plenty of training techniques in my work. (Shhh, don’t tell, but I use those techniques on the humans as much as the dogs!) However, my focus is on how much more dogs and humans can have and share with each other, how much richer and nuanced their relationship can be. Humans should never settle for mere training of their dog.
MB: Are you hopeful that people embrace your suggestions the dogs and their humans will have better lives, a win-win for all?
LS: Writing a book is a labor—hard labor—of love. Most people don’t realize that only the smallest, single-digit fraction of books published make enough money to justify the work involved. So, to embark on that arduous journey as many times as I have, you have to love what you’re writing about and also the inherent difficulty of the writing process.
Relationships Essential Reads
I also love watching people realize that something they never considered possible can blossom between them and their dogs. And then seeing their dog relax and bloom as they realize their human has finally gotten it. As I say in the book, “Isn’t it beautiful?” That moment is what I want for my clients, and now, I hope, also for my readers.
