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Over two-thirds of people report feeling lonely at some point in their life – most often early or late in life (Blodgett et al., 2025).
Loneliness is so much more than social isolation – it is a public health issue, associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day (Office of the Surgeon General (OSG), 2023).
While therapy can help, building meaningful social connections and a sense of community can be the focus of intervention (Imwinkelried et al., 2025). Opportunities for social networking, social-emotional skill-building, and even cognitive-behavioral therapy can help individuals overcome barriers to isolation, empowering them to build the social connections they need to thrive (APA, 2025).
Elizabeth Strout, Pulitzer Prize winning author, explores loneliness and how books can connect us in her latest novel, The Things We Never Say.
Heather Rose Artushin: Share a bit about your background and what inspired you to write The Things We Never Say.
Elizabeth Strout: The idea of this book came to me one day when a tiny story was told to me (the story had very few details) about a man, who with his father, was in a boat one day and they saw a man’s head. So they went over, and it was a man who had fallen overboard and so they pulled him out of the water. That was all there was to that story. But it stayed with me, and Artie Dam blossomed from that. I kept thinking: Why was he in the water? And so I had Artie fall overboard, but with a backstory.
HRA: In your novel, Artie is a teacher, husband, and a good neighbor who seems happy on the surface, but secretly struggles with deep loneliness. How does Artie embody the loneliness epidemic of modern life?
ES: Artie, in the first part of the novel, is feeling lonely from his own situation – which he is unaware of. He does not fully know that his wife has temporarily pulled away from him, and while he does know that his son has pulled away from him, he does not know why. When he does find out why he is very fully inside life again. And yet there is a loneliness to him that I think does embody people of this era.
HRA: How do you make sense of this increase in feelings of isolation that so many people experience today, in light of our interconnected, busy world?
ES: There are fewer social places to attend anymore, no church (which Artie went to as a child), no social get-togethers except for the occasional dinner party, no neighbors to come and sit on the back steps with (as Artie had in his childhood) and more and more people are spending time online. When one used to go into a shop, now frequently this shopping is done online, so even the business of talking to someone – a pleasant salesperson, for example – is cut down considerably. While Artie is not addicted to his phone or computer as many people are today, I think the sense of isolation among people has grown. Everywhere I go I see people who are just staring at their phones and not speaking to each other.
HRA: How does Artie long for greater depth in his relationships? How do you think readers might find more depth and meaning in their connections with others after reading this book?
ES: Artie finds tremendous consolation in his relationship with his son, and with his new friend (very, very important, I think especially for men, to have someone they see alone on a regular basis) and he finds deep connection with his students, as he always has. But the students have grown different over the years, especially since the pandemic, and so Artie’s talents with them are more important than ever. I hope that people who read this book will come away thinking more about others in their lives. I hope that they feel – even temporarily — more open to others, as they recognize tiny parts of themselves in these characters.
HRA: Where do you most see yourself in this story? What did you learn in the process of writing it?
ES: When I write fiction, I seldom see myself in the story I am telling. I am only trying to concentrate as hard as I can on the lives of the people I am writing about. I think what I did learn writing this book is the same thing that Artie himself comes to realize: that within each person is a vast unknowable universe. When I wrote that I thought: Huh, that is true. (I had “known” it was true, but not until I wrote it down did I see exactly how true it was.)
HRA: What do you hope readers take away from spending time with The Things We Never Say?
ES: I hope that people who read this book will come away with a greater understanding of our deep need to connect, even just to a few people. And also, hopefully, they will not feel so alone after reading it. This is always my hope: that for a few minutes my readers will not feel so alone.
