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What we found at Roswell
Col. Kevin Randle — former Vietnam helicopter pilot, former Iraq intelligence officer, UFO expert and specialist — on what happened in July 1947 in Roswell, a crappy little town of then maybe 50,000 (about what a NYC hi-rise would have).
So, today, are these so-called UFOs yes or no?
The Colonel: “UFOs were in Roswell, NM, because that’s where atomic research began. Roswell Army Airfield was the only atomic strike force then.
“The debris field was 65 miles northwest. The craft and bodies a bit closer. Testimonies from those we cross-examined all believed the thing extraterrestrial. We vetted witnesses who said they saw a craft and bodies of creatures. Not human, but humanoid. Smaller than us. Heads and eyes larger than humans.
“The debris field had inexplicable metallic material. Bunch the stuff up and it would return to its original shape.
“Roswell is the only place where atomic research had begun. Had it crashed elsewhere we’d be having a different discussion. We got lots of interviews of people with some smattering of knowledge.
“At the impact site, a guard on duty in back of one truck was told, ‘Don’t look under the tarp.’ He saw a body about 4 ½ feet tall. Very thin. Large head. Big eyes. Coverall skin-tight space suit. Size of an 11-year-old kid.
Not sure what it is
“Hands had four fingers and little sucker cups at the end of each. All were very long and slender, almost tentacle-like. The ends of the fingers appeared to be shaped for grasping things.”
Why we’re all hot on discovering what’s in outer space when we can’t even get together on this planet, I don’t know. Suggested was that this colonel maybe take his own little schlep up to way outer space where he and his pals are discovering all sorts of stuff and report back.
So would this now-retired Army officer like to hop on an outer space vehicle? Take a comfy schlep a few trillion miles away? Say hi to Damnscrammy, who’ll be up there promising free buses?
Thought is, why would we want to find new territories like some empty space in some black hole maybe 890 trillion miles — and three years’ schlep away — where Fauci and RFK Jr. are still lecturing, Bernie Sanders is still spitting, sparkled Markle has already kicked out the temp Prince Harry and Elon already owns the hot dog carts?
Facts are facts
Also, Paris will still be rude to Americans, Florida will always have hurricanes, Comey will still say “I’m innocent,” Diddy will still say “I’m innocent,” Hunter will still say “I’m innocent,” doctors will still be too busy for appointments, Harvard will soon become a museum, Tom Cruise will be jumping off his 3,000th moving train and we’ll always have the IRS.
I couldn’t talk to the Colonel longer because I’d just lost a pearl earring and needed to find it.
So, now that astrophysicists have located yet another distant planet and who-the-hell cares and it comes down to the basics, what we deep thinkers must ask ourselves is: If a man is all alone and he’s in a dense forest and he makes a statement and it’s without his wife being there — is he still wrong?
Only in the United States of America, kids, only in the United States of America.
