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Polyamory isn’t a new concept, but it certainly seems to be the word on everyone’s lips these days. People are increasingly curious about what a world unbound by compulsory monogamy might look like. Nonfiction books on polyamory like therapist Jessica Fern’s Polysecure and Polywise fly off bookstore shelves. It’s even a trend in fiction, from romances like TJ Alexander’s Triple Sec to fantasy like Kacen Callender’s Infinity Alchemist. I’ve heard some folks waxing poetic about how polyamory could help us spread more love and create a more open-hearted, caring society overall.
What we don’t talk about as much in our visions of a free love utopia, though, is polyamorous heartbreak. Try as you might to be an Ethical Slut, sometimes things don’t work out and someone’s feelings get hurt. How do you move forward? What lessons can be learned? What love can still be found? That’s what Alejandro Varela asks in his poignant, funny, delightfully eccentric new novel Middle Spoon.
Middle Spoon by Alejandro Varela
Our unnamed protagonist is heartbroken. He’s just been dumped by his boyfriend, Ben. And his husband, who was incredibly supportive and amenable to opening their relationship, just doesn’t get how his partner can be so melancholy when he has a happy marriage and two kids at home to comfort him. Feeling guilty about his inability to get over it and move on with his seemingly perfect life, our protagonist writes about his feelings in emails to the man who dumped him — without hitting send, obviously.
Through the epistolary form of his email drafts, we watch our protagonist grapple with the complicated realities of queer polyamorous life in the contemporary world, where open marriages aren’t as taboo as they once were, but where his messy feelings still feel unprecedented. There’s no room for grieving a relationship when you’ve got a fulfilling job, an adoring husband, and a trans kid to protect from a cold, transphobic world. His emails start with his ex-boyfriend Ben, but they soon expand to his mom, his therapists, his kids, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, and himself.
Our protagonist, you see, is struggling with more than just heartbreak. He’s also dealing with anxieties about today’s world and trying to live ethically and responsibly in a way that will feel familiar to many readers. He wants to find joy and explore new ways to spread love outside of heteronormative expectations, impossible as it may feel, especially when he can’t get over his ex. Our dude is a mess. And I adore him. For all his eccentricities and insufferable quirks, I can’t get enough of him.
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The epistolary structure of the narrative works so well with the protagonist’s unique voice. His therapists (yes, plural) beg him to stop sending them the drafts of his emails to his ex-boyfriend, but I say keep them coming. Middle Spoon playfully explores the anxieties, joys, and uncertainties of modern queer love while also confronting the difficulties of trying to be a good partner, parent, and person in today’s chaotic world. It’s playful yet deep, contemplative yet hilariously entertaining. You’ll love spending a few hours in the head of this unforgettable protagonist.
