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I generally don’t watch reality television. In the case of The Golden Bachelor on ABC, I made an exception. Both friends and clients were buzzing about this show so as a lover of what is going on in our culture, I naturally tuned in. In the second season of this reality series, the Golden Bachelor is Mel Owens, a divorced 66-year-old former football player. He created quite a stir when he stated, on a podcast, that he preferred women ages 40 to 60 who do not have artificial hips or wigs. This struck a chord with women over 50 whose husbands had left them for younger women and for women who believed that they had aged out of dating.
So, three weeks ago, I tuned in. Mel appeared to be an amiable 66-year-old man in good shape. He apologized repeatedly about his podcast comments. Interestingly, the 23 women who he would judge and spend time with ranged from ages 58 to 77. ABC cleverly flipped the script on Mel (in terms of the women’s ages) and this has made the show that much more interesting. The goal is for Mel to eventually select one of these women as his next life partner. This is a bit hasty but remember that this is reality TV, not real life. The women were/are a very accomplished group. Many of them appear to have undergone a great deal of facial plastic surgery in a clear attempt to maintain their youthful looks. While artificial hips were clearly a rule-out, plastic surgery was clearly not.
The show is extremely popular among gray daters—those over 50 who would like to meet partners—and the younger crowd who are fascinated about the concept of aging and dating. Perhaps, they think that the two are mutually exclusive. The 50-plus-year-olds that I have spoken with report that the show has given them hope that you can be desirable and find companionship and romance after age 50. Many women have also described comparing themselves to the 23 female contestants to see how they measure up compared to them. Interestingly, many have been focusing on their accomplishments and their self-care. This has been a pleasant surprise, as excessive attention to appearance is problematic in so many ways. Some have even started to resume attempts at dating, as this show has rekindled the idea of pursuing dating.
As I continue to watch this show on a weekly basis, myself and at least thousands of other women are focusing not only on the women contestants but also on Mel. The 23 contestants are clearly idealizing this man who they hardly know. My concern is that this is what happens in real life. Simply because a man of a certain age is attractive and available does not mean that he is a man of solid character. Go on and enjoy this show. Have fun dating, but please stay away from idealizing potential partners. This leads to nothing but broken hearts and disappointment. The takeaway from the show should be that self-care and socializing may be exciting and complicated, but chasing after a stranger is the stuff of reality TV.
