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Many moons ago, I was a college student at a bonfire party on one of Southern California’s many beautiful beaches.
It was late at night and the party was full of music, laughter, and the kind of idealistic energy that many of us fondly remember from our early 20s.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a friend take off in a sprint and leap over the bonfire pit, clearing it to the astonishment and applause of the crowd.
In that moment, whether he meant to or not, he sparked an unofficial rite of passage for the young men gathered there that night. He had set the mark and a line formed full of eager twenty-something young men, one after another, wanting to prove they could reach or surpass it. Maybe for pride. Maybe for the crowd. Maybe to impress someone in particular.
One by one, we took turns launching ourselves over that cement pit bursting with flames. Naturally, people started building the fire higher, because that’s what young men do.
At one point, my friend who started the whole thing muttered, almost to himself but loud enough to hear, “This was a bad idea.”
Those of us nearby chuckled. We knew it was, but that didn’t stop us.
It ended, as you might expect, with one poor soul not quite setting his feet right before the jump. My guess is he still carries the burn marks to this day.
The Biology of “Bad Ideas”
The research on brain development in young men has been clear for decades. The prefrontal cortex, the part that governs judgment and risk assessment, doesn’t fully mature until the mid-20s.
Their ability to predict long-term consequences is biologically limited, which is why they’re far more prone to impulsive, risk-filled behavior.
So when they, of all people, with all their biological handicaps and history of foolish decision-making, look at something and say, “This is a bad idea,” maybe the rest of us should pay attention.
From Fire to Fantasy Leagues
That brings me to a recent Pew Research Center finding: 47% of men under 30 now say legal sports betting is bad for society, up from just 22% in 2022.
That’s an increase of over 113% in only two years.
I can’t think of another activity that delivers such a potent cocktail of adrenaline, risk, and escapism, yet has its biggest former enthusiasts waving the warning flag.
By comparison, 43% of U.S. adults overall say legalized sports betting is bad for society, up from 34% two years prior. And 40% now say it’s bad for sports itself, up from 33%.
But none of these groups are as alarmed as young men, the very demographic built to chase risk. Just listen to the impacts of online gambling in their own words:
In interviews with young men across the U.K., researcher Derek McGee (2020) found that gambling had stopped being a pastime and become a lens through which life itself was viewed. One participant put it plainly: “Gambling has ruined sport because you can’t watch it without thinking, ‘I should put a fiver on first goal.’” What used to be excitement for the game had been replaced by a background hum of calculation.
Another described the eerie ease of modern gambling apps: “I can log onto my phone, no need to interact with anyone, and put on whatever stake I want. It makes it all so easy. And that makes it a bit more addictive.” The fewer steps between impulse and action, the less room there is for a conscience or a wiser mind to intervene.
One man admitted, “I honestly didn’t think I was betting with my money. It felt like Monopoly money.” That line captures the psychology of the screen: the more virtual the experience, the less real the consequences feel.
And for some, those consequences were devastating. “I’m in about £15,000 of debt just from payday loans. All for gambling. It took over my life for a while.” These are not outliers. They are the very demographic most courted by gambling platforms, and the first to recognize, in their own words, that what feels like play is actually fire.
McGee’s conclusion at the end of his study is enough to send a chill down the spine:
Participation in sports gambling can serve as a gateway to gambling-related harm… including financial precarity, loss of employment, relationship breakdown, family conflict, mental health struggles, suicidality, and criminality.
Why Young Men?
It’s not hard to see why they’re the first to call it what it is. If you’re a young man trying to watch the game, you’re not being invited to enjoy sports. You’re being groomed to bet.
In a recent interview with The New York Times, Peter Jackson, CEO of FanDuel’s parent company, was asked how he planned to grow their market,
People who are turning 25 this year and betting for the first time, or turning 21, depending on what the rules are in different places, are a whole new cohort that will become available to us. They’re more likely to have their phone in their hand while watching TV. You’ve got that natural tailwind of people who are digital-first consumers that will see natural growth.
Young men have often been the prime targets of massive online gambling platforms like DraftKings and FanDuel, with Jackson disclosing his company spends more than a billion dollars a year on marketing.
A University of Bristol study found that during the NHL Finals, viewers were hit with gambling ads an average of 3.5 times per minute.
The New Caution
So when the most impulsive demographic in our culture starts muttering, “This is a bad idea,” maybe we should consider that this sentiment is wisdom earned through pain.
Maybe they’re the first to sense that what’s being sold as “fun” and “freedom” is just another dopamine trap disguised as choice.
And if even the thrill-seekers are sounding the alarm, perhaps it’s time the rest of us listened both for their sake and society as a whole.
What to Do
If you’ve already been pulled into the spiral of gambling, the first thing to know is that you’re not uniquely weak; you’re simply human in a system designed to exploit human wiring. These apps aren’t innocent games; they are precision-engineered dopamine loops. The smartest responses are strategic and communal.
Start by deleting the apps. Every single one. Then take the next step: Have someone you trust set a password lock on your phone’s app store or device settings. Outsource your discipline until it becomes your own again.
Don’t do it alone. Addiction only grows in secret. Groups like Gamblers Anonymous or other recovery programs offer a kind of relief and assistance that is hard to find elsewhere.
Lastly, find a therapist who understands addiction. Look for someone who speaks directly about impulse control, shame cycles, and dopamine conditioning.
For the rest of us, I hope we start listening to the alarm bells ringing from a population whose well-being has massive implications for the health of our families, communities, and culture.
To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
