How to Get Out of Your Head

Many of us get stuck in our heads, ruminating. Developing our metacognition skills (a key executive function skill) can help us work on getting less stuck in our heads over time. Metacognition is the ability to reflect accurately on our experiences so we can learn lessons and carry those lessons forward. It’s actually a very complex executive function skill with many steps, so if this is hard for you, you are not alone.

Rate Your Metacognition Skills

To determine if metacognition skills are a strength or a challenge, assess how much you agree with the following statements or not (Dawson & Guare, 2016).

• Statement 1: You routinely evaluate your performance and develop methods for personal improvement.
• Statement 2: You can step back from a situation and make objective decisions.
• Statement 3: You are a big-picture thinker and enjoy problem-solving.

The more you agree with any of these statements, the more metacognition is likely a strength for you. The more you disagree with these statements, the more challenging it is.

Two Ways We Get “Stuck”

There are two primary ways we get stuck and struggle to access our metacognition skills.

1. Cognitive Distortions

The first way we get stuck in our heads is through cognitive distortions. There are many cognitive distortions that our brains engage in, often subconsciously. We usually developed these routine ways of thinking and feeling when we were younger, as our brains sought to simplify reality so we could understand it.

Cognitive distortions are widespread, and some of the most common are (Mutti-Driscoll, 2024):

• Black-and-white thinking: Seeing things in black and white as having only two options or choices.
• Jumping to conclusions: Generalizing one experience to all other similar experiences.
• Negative filtering: Seeing very few or no positives in the situation.
• Blame stories: Blaming the entire context of the situation on yourself or something else.
• Mind reading: Coming to an extreme conclusion because of a small slice of the social interaction.

A first step to becoming unstuck from these distortions is to become more aware of them. We can try to notice when we’re caught in a simplistic story that might be one of these distortions, and when that story is playing, try to figure it out. We can begin to ask ourselves: Is the story I’m telling really true? Is there evidence for an opposite story? Or is this story partially true, but there’s also something else going on in my reality that I’m not seeing?

You can also practice reflecting on your experiences after the fact, seeking to determine whether your initial impression of a situation was accurate or was more of a distortion. You can practice reflecting, however it works for you. Some options include talking things over with a trusted friend, speaking to a therapist, journaling, working through a workbook, or using your phone to dictate your thoughts.

2. The TPN vs. The DMN

A second way that we get caught up in our heads is that when we have ADHD, we have a “glitchy” switch between two key parts of the brain (Hallowell & Ratey, 2021):

• The TPN (Task Positive Network): This gets us down to work. It is those times when we feel focused, locked in, and in the flow. Most of us love these moments because we’re not self-conscious; that self-criticism that sometimes really dogs our experiences isn’t present.
• The DMN (Default Mode Network) is responsible for expansive, imaginative, creative, and autobiographical thinking. It is the part of our brains that daydreams and makes connections, which people with ADHD are often really good at. However, while this part of the brain for neurotypical folks doesn’t have a glitchy switch, we can get knocked into the DMN when we’re just trying to launch a task. When we get caught in the DMN, we often begin to distort things and engage negative self-narratives.

Moving Into Action

What Dr. Hallowell and Ratey (2021) tell us we can do is try to get moving and stay in action. Even if we’re trying to rest, it can still be helpful to be intentional about what we’re doing (e.g., “I’m going to do sticker art right now” or “I’m going to listen to my audiobook”).

They also advise finding a creative outlet to help with restlessness. A lot of times, there’s a part of neurodivergent brains that wants more of whatever brings a good feeling, and sometimes this leads toward addiction. Even if you don’t think you’re “good” at it, it’s just terrific to have that outlet.

Martha Beck (2025) also says that when we’re creative, we can’t be anxious. Developing our creativity is a great way to get out of our heads and do hands-on things rather than just spin. To work with this new brain science, you can start thinking about these ideas: what helps you get in and stay in your TPN, and what makes it more complicated? Is it easier in the morning? Is the afternoon harder? How can you work with that knowledge in terms of setting up what you’re gonna be doing at different times of the day?

Conclusion: Keep Practicing

Little by little, as you practice your metacognition skills, you’ll have an easier time recognizing when you’re stuck and get better at pivoting to get out of your head, into your body, and into actions that promote your essential goals.