Has Technology Made Us Less Courageous?

A popular social media trend in 2025 was the celebration of social isolation. Reels, posts, and memes abound that celebrate rebuffing social invitations, giving up on dating, doing the bare minimum at work, and even lamenting the loss of social distancing as though it was the silver lining and not an unfortunate consequence of the global pandemic. People seem to have really had it with other people.

There is a certain irony to celebrating social isolation on social media, the very platforms that were meant to promote social connection. Are people truly celebrating solitude, or are they actually voicing a complaint? Have modern technologies that were meant to connect us eroded social connections? And if so, how has this happened, and what can we do about it?

One of the many ways that technology has transformed communication is that it has made it easy for us to avoid courageous communication, the kind that cultivates social connectedness. Courageous communication is admitting when we’re wrong or don’t know the answers, having difficult conversations, and approaching conflict with respectful dialogue. Such behaviors build trust and strengthen relationships. And they are precisely the behaviors that digital environments make easy to bypass. In short, technology may be making us cowards.

Consider recent trends. For example, ghosting, or ending a relationship by disappearing without explanation, has become commonplace. A 2023 survey found that 84% of young adults say they’ve been ghosted, and nearly two-thirds who’ve been ghosted admit to ghosting someone else.¹ Digital communication allows us to disappear without witnessing the impact of our disappearance on others. Over time, repeated exposure to this type of behavior or even hearing stories about it on social media reinforces the idea that emotional investment is dangerous. Cue the memes of people “protecting their peace” while lying in bed alone with a remote control in hand. We used to fear being alone; now we fear relationships.

Similar trends are observed in the workplace. A Gallup poll showed that 60% of workers are “quiet quitters,”² meaning they attempt to do the least work possible without getting fired. Quiet quitting has been framed as boundary-setting and self-care, but is avoiding difficult conversations about workload and/or dissatisfaction courageous?

Meanwhile, studies of social media data reveal that hostility online is pervasive.³ Social media platforms reward certainty, shock value, and rage. This leaves little room for productive dialogue, quiet contemplation, or humility, and while some people may choose to stay and fight, most quietly withdraw.

Altogether, these may be evidence of a broader social phenomenon where technology rewards harmful behavior, which then drives people to seek safety in isolation. The memes and reels cast social isolation as a celebration of self-empowerment, but at what cost?

We can fire off vitriolic social media posts, breakup via text message, and disengage from work by leaving our cameras off during meetings and ignoring emails, all while maintaining a sense of being self-protective. But with few immediate consequences to avoidant behaviors, we risk avoidance becoming a habit. The danger is in the long-term consequences. Avoidance stifles personal growth, undermines relationships, and fuels social isolation.

To be sure, in some circumstances, avoidance may be justifiable. The problem arises when avoidance becomes our default response to ordinary discomforts. Ghosting makes intimacy feel unsafe. Quiet quitting drains the workplace of social richness. Online vitriol makes exposure to others feel threatening. It isn’t surprising that people are in withdrawal mode. But, social withdrawal has deleterious effects on quality of life, our physical and mental health, and even longevity, given that one of the strongest predictors of all of these things is the quality of our relationships.⁴

In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General declared a loneliness epidemic, such that over one-third of adults report loneliness.⁵ Are people lonely because of a lack of opportunities for social connection or a loss of confidence in social connection? Modern technologies have increased opportunities for social connection, so I suspect it is the latter. When avoidance is the norm, our trust in others deteriorates. This is precisely how avoidance and social isolation quietly reinforce each other. Each act of avoidance may feel justifiable, but collectively, they deepen our isolation. Avoidance protects us in the moment but shifts the cost onto others, ultimately creating a culture where people expect disappearance and hostility. Withdrawal becomes anticipatory rather than reactive.

How can we practice courage in a time when avoidance is so effortless? Here are a few ideas.

1. Plan to have your next difficult conversation in person. This may seem terrifying at first, but the outcome is far more likely to result in repair than conflict and disengagement.
2. Identify one thing you are avoiding and write down what it would look like to tackle it with courage. It may be a conversation or decision you are putting off. Ask yourself what you are actually avoiding. Is it being wrong, feeling uncomfortable, disappointing someone, or getting rejected? Consider that each time you act despite your fears, not only do you produce a better outcome, but you become more likely to do so in the future. Courage is like a muscle; it gets stronger with use, but without use, it atrophies.
3. Practice humility. Start with a low-stakes situation and go from there. For example, tell someone how you changed your mind about a belief or confess how you were wrong about something in the past.
4. Reframe interpersonal discomfort as a cue to lean in. When we equate discomfort with danger, withdrawal becomes our knee-jerk response, and this inevitably stifles growth. When you sense a conflict, try approaching the person to ask questions.

Courageous acts build trust and connection, which are needed more than ever in a culture where disengagement has become routine. Perhaps through courageous acts, we can make 2026 the year we celebrate social connectedness.