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Is “LARPing” playing some kind of role in your life?
There was the original gaming meaning of LARPing—Live-Action Role-Playing—which referred to dressing up in real life like Xena the Warrior Princess, Drizzt Do’Urden from Dungeons & Dragons, or some other fantasy character and then acting out what that character would normally do.
Then there’s the new definition of LARPing that’s been spreading on social media: It’s when you fake some kind of identity, expertise, hobby, or lifestyle in order to get what you hope to be real attention, popularity, power, money, or even love.
The Original Meaning of LARPing
The term LARPing arose from role-playing games like Dungeons & Dragons, Pathfinder, Pokémon, Final Fantasy, and The Elder Scrolls that began as table-top games but eventually transitioned online as well. In such games, you are supposed to assume some type of identify—hence the word “role”—and play—hence the word “play”—that character throughout the game. It becomes “live-action” when you try to impersonate the character as much as possible—including donning a costume—while interacting with others in person.
This form of LARPing has become quite popular. People LARP for fun, to express themselves, to escape momentarily from reality, to bond with others, or to work together toward a mutual goal like a game-based quest. LARPing events occur throughout the world at gatherings like the ConQuest of Mythodea that every August brings around 10,000 players to a tent city in Hanover, Germany, to engage in a five-day “epic conflict.”
A New Meaning of LARPing
The new type of LARPing is a totally different story. When someone accuses you of LARPing and you are not holding a mace or quarterstaff, that person is probably claiming that you are trying to fool others with a false image of yourself. It would be right to take that as an insult. One example of such LARPing is putting yourself forward as an expert in some subject like artificial intelligence when you don’t actually have much deep knowledge or experience. Another example is flexing supposed wealth or power when there isn’t any, like wearing expensive clothing that you can’t afford or posing in a photo next to an expensive car that you don’t own.
There’s also acting as if you belong to some kind of profession or group when you really don’t, such as pretending to be a doctor or to have graduated from a certain school. Then there’s misrepresenting your physical appearance through the use of different angles, filters, editing software, make-up, plastic surgery, and other means to alter your facial features, skin tone, or body shape or size.
Here’s a shocker: Social media is full of LARPing. Yes, there are plenty of people LARPing online and in real life in attempts to get ahead in their personal and professional lives and sell you stuff—including themselves; if you are looking to meet a LARPer on a dating app, you should have no problem finding one.
Why People LARP
LARPing can arise from insecurity—feeling deep down that you don’t really believe that you can’t get what you want by simply being yourself. Laziness can lead to LARPing too—an attempt to circumvent hard work, effort, and time in the “fake it until you make it” vein. You may also LARP because you want to manipulate others: “Fool them once…hey. that worked!”
Any of the above could be more natural and thus more excusable when you are still quite young, before you may have formed a sense of self and grown to be more comfortable in your own skin. So if a five-year-old, for example, tells you that he’s “king of the world” and “the CEO of Microgoogle,” you don’t necessarily have to burst his bubble and call him a liar. A 30-year-old saying something similar is a different story. At some point you should be old enough to know better.
The Risks of LARPing
When any part of your life is built on a false and shaky foundation, your world can become a house of cards that can come crashing down once a falsehood gets exposed. Therefore, you can spend an enormous amount of time, effort, and stress to protect this house and maintain such false pretenses. And in the process, you may keep adding deceptions until you become unrecognizable to yourself. Just look at what happened to George Santos and Elizabeth Holmes.
If you ever feel the urge to LARP, you may want to ask yourself why you feel the need to play a role. If you are feeling insecure, why is this the case? Why not instead cherish who you are, rely on your own unique abilities, and do the hard work needed to get what you want? Truly earning something and being yourself will bring more satisfaction.
How To Deal With LARPing
If you encounter someone who’s LARPing, should you call them out publicly? If it’s someone close to you whom you care about, maybe ask that person in a private setting why they are presenting such an image. That person may need help seeing what their real self has to offer and what the benefits of being of being more authentic may be.
