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“Does your hearing loss hurt?” a friend once asked.
I appreciated the question. It showed care and curiosity. The answer, though, is complicated. While I don’t usually feel physical pain from my hearing loss, there are many examples of psychological and emotional suffering.
Sometimes this pain comes from external catalysts, like when a request for repetition is dismissed with a “nevermind,” or when accommodations I need to communicate are not available.
Sometimes it’s an internal cause—when I judge myself harshly for struggling at a noisy event or choose isolation instead of risking misunderstanding. Over time, those small moments can accumulate into something heavier.
So, yes, my hearing loss does hurt. Just not in the way my friend expected.
It’s OK to Mourn, But Not Forever
A diagnosis of hearing loss comes with many emotions—not usually good ones. People may feel shocked or scared.
How will my hearing loss impact my relationships?
Will I be able to stay connected to the activities I enjoy?
Can I remain a productive participant on projects important to me?
These reactions are normal. Hearing loss affects communication, and communication is central to identity and connection. Taking time to process those emotions is healthy. But staying stuck in them can deepen isolation.
You Are Not Alone With Your Hearing Loss
According to the World Health Organization, 430 million people worldwide have disabling hearing loss, including almost 50 million Americans.
You are certainly not alone. But it may feel like you are.
When I first noticed my hearing loss in my mid-20s, I didn’t know anyone else with hearing loss—except for my father, who was battling too much hearing loss stigma to discuss it. Or maybe I did know other people with hearing loss, but I didn’t realize it. Many people don’t disclose their hearing loss for fear that others will think less of them. It took many years before I came out of my hearing loss closet.
Finding peers helped me feel less alone with the emotional pain of my hearing loss. Finally, others understood my frustrations and could suggest workarounds for situations where I struggled. Seeing them succeed in life and with relationships gave me hope that I could too.
Skillful Living With Hearing Loss Is Possible
Hearing loss does not come with an operating manual. That is why fellow hearing loss advocate Gael Hannan and I decided to write one in Hear & Beyond: Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss. We believe living well with hearing loss is possible, no matter the degree, the age of onset, or how long you have been living with it.
It’s not always easy.
Skillful living has highs and lows. It includes emotional pain and frustration. But it also embraces resilience, fosters self-advocacy, and builds confidence because you understand how to create communication success in almost every situation.
Does hearing loss hurt? It certainly does sometimes, but with the right attitude and the use of both technological and behavioral tools, relief can be found.
Copyright: Shari Eberts. A version of this post also appears on LivingWithHearingLoss.com.
