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The holiday season is in full swing, with its parties, get-togethers, and festive feasts. Although it can seem like a season full of endless socializing, the reality is that more people spend the holidays alone. Reasons for this trend vary and can range from the practical (avoiding expensive flight tickets) to the more personal (family conflicts or estrangements).
Some people relish the quiet time alone and have created holiday rituals for themselves—crafting, volunteering at a nursing home or homeless shelter, or cooking an elaborate meal just for one. But those who fear they will be lonely don’t have to rush to join friends or family for a get-together they don’t really look forward to, or one that might be awkward. Spending the holidays alone doesn’t have to be lonely.
The holidays are indeed about connection, but connection doesn’t have to mean sitting at the same table eating too much pie. Anyone who has ever felt lonely despite being in the company of others knows what I mean. Connection can also mean connecting with oneself, maybe through journaling and reflecting upon the last year, or doing something joyful just for oneself. (Christmas horror movie, maybe?) Connecting with other people also doesn’t have to take place at a decorated table but can take many forms, such as writing a letter of gratitude to whoever helped us during the year or calling old friends on the phone. Connecting with others can be more relaxed, honest, and joyful because it comes without the pressure of ritualized meals but is truly about the connection, and not about presents or social media posts.
Social media should be best avoided during the holidays anyway. While it seems like a tool for connection, it often serves as an artificial, stylized version of ourselves that others might have a harder time connecting with. People will post the pretty meals and gifts, but what is much less visible is what actually matters—quality time together with loved ones or alone.
Finally, the holidays can be a great time to make some new friends. Once we get over the hesitation to discuss our plans of spending time alone, chances are we’ll hear from others who also don’t have plans yet or are ambivalent about the holidays, per se. Why not start a new tradition together and extend an invitation even to people we don’t know well? Connection can take many forms after all.
