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Research suggests that writing about your best possible self improves well-being (Carrillo et al., 2019). Striving to be your best self fosters personal growth and a sense of fulfillment.
We all have times when we feel like we’re being our “best selves” (even if only for a fleeting moment). And other times… not so much. So how do we cultivate this best version of ourselves so it’s more consistent? How do you bridge the gap between where you are and who you want to become?
Your best self is the idealized version of yourself living life to your fullest potential and in alignment with your values, goals, and aspirations. It’s a vision of your best future, where you’re happy and fulfilled in your life and career (Boyatzis & Dhar, 2021). Your ideal self is formed by your purpose in life, your core values and principles, and your sense of self in relation to others (Boyatzis & Dhar, 2021).
Best Self vs. Actual Self and Ought Self
Your best self is not about perfection—it’s about aiming to be the best version of yourself. It’s living according to your values, pursuing your passions, and using your individual strengths and talents.
Here’s how your best self differs from two other types of self (Bak, 2014):
- Actual self: This is who you are right now, with your strengths, weaknesses, and current life circumstances.
- Ought self: This is the person you think you should be based on external pressures or expectations. It includes things like your sense of duty, obligations, and responsibilities.
Your best self builds upon your actual self, incorporating your values and aspirations. It emerges from your core values and desires, not external pressures.
Why Getting Clear on Your Best Self May Boost Well-Being
- Self-awareness: When you become clear about how you see your ideal self, you become more self-aware and authentic. This knowledge provides direction and helps you make choices aligned with your values, leading to a more fulfilling life.
- Motivation: A clear vision of your best self fuels your motivation to take action and reach your full potential. It gives you a sense of direction. When you know who you want to be, you’re more likely to set goals and take action to achieve them.
- Self-esteem: Research shows that people with more positive views of themselves (believe they’re closer to being their best selves) have higher self-esteem (Showers et al., 2015). Understanding your strengths, values, and aspirations boosts your self-esteem and confidence. You become more assured in your abilities and convictions, which translates into a more positive self-image and assertiveness in pursuing your dreams.
- Relationships: Clarity about your values and aspirations helps you form deeper and more meaningful connections with others. You attract like-minded individuals who resonate with your authentic self, leading to more fulfilling relationships and collaborations.
- Life satisfaction: Clarifying your best self can lead to greater overall life satisfaction. When you live in alignment with your values, pursue your passions, and nurture meaningful relationships, it contributes to a profound sense of fulfillment and well-being.
In Sum
Becoming your best self is a lifelong journey characterized by self-discovery, growth, resilience, and authenticity. Embrace the process, learn from challenges, celebrate progress, and stay committed to living a meaningful and fulfilling life aligned with your values and purpose.
