970x125
Money continues to be one of the most challenging topics for many of us, often more difficult to talk about than politics, religion, or even our most personal histories. Yet money permeates every part of our lives.
Many people live with constant fear, anxiety, and insecurity about their financial situation. Money worries remain one of the greatest sources of stress in Canada, and financial stress is cited as a leading cause of divorce, and we still don’t talk about money (FP Canada 2025; Scott et al., 2013).
Despite money being a significant stressor, many of us have been taught not to talk about it. We don’t talk about money because it feels like a minefield. Conversations about it can feel overwhelming and intimidating. If we have a lot, we may feel guilty; if we don’t, we may feel ashamed. When we feel things like fear, guilt, shame, or judgment, we tend to avoid or deny.
It’s a topic that is often avoided, but at the same time, unavoidable.
The reality is that even when we aren’t speaking directly about money, we’re talking about it indirectly. We talk about money when we follow a “traditional” life path of school, post-secondary, career, marriage, and family. We talk about it through the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, the hobbies we choose, and even the photos we post on social media.
Our inability to talk openly about finances in our close relationships can actually add more stress, create disconnection, and silently undermine our well-being.
Of course, there are real financial pressures outside of our control, like inflation, interest rates, or broader shifts. Within that reality, though, we do have influence over the conversations we choose to have, the habits we build, and the values we anchor to. Focusing on what’s within our control is how financial wellness becomes possible.
A key starting place is to first understand where our beliefs and feelings about money come from.
Our Money Stories
Each of us has a running narrative about money, often stemming from our early experiences, that shapes how we think, feel, and act when it comes to financial decisions. Some of what we saw and heard may have been helpful, while some of it can linger in ways that no longer serve us.
Some people grew up in households where talking about money was considered impolite. Some remember their families always arguing about it, or one person holding all the control. Others never heard their parents or guardians talk about money at all. Some carry the belief that they’re “not a numbers person” and therefore not good with money.
In my book Stress Wisely, where I explore the financial realm as one of eight key areas of wellness, I emphasize the importance of getting curious about our money stories (without judgment) and the power that comes from choosing to rewrite parts of them to create a healthier and more empowering relationship with money.
Here are a few questions to start that reflection:
- What did you learn about money from your parents or guardians during your early years?
- What were some of the sayings or attitudes about money you grew up hearing?
- How do you think those early lessons shaped your current beliefs? Do they support your values?
- Are there any aspects of your money story that you can rewrite or change so that it serves you today?
When we take time to reflect on our own money stories and all the beliefs, thoughts, and feelings that accompany them, we’re better equipped to hold meaningful money conversations with the people closest to us.
How to Approach Money Conversations
Knowing how to start the money conversations with our partners or loved ones can be challenging.
Mel Abraham, CPA, bestselling author of Building Your Money Machine, speaker, and podcast host, is on a mission to help people rewrite their financial stories and align their money with what truly matters. Mel brilliantly reframes how we can approach these conversations with more clarity and less conflict (Resiliency Redefined, 2025).
With Couples
Couples often get stuck arguing over small, day-to-day spending instead of aligning on the bigger picture. Mel encourages starting money conversations with shared life goals and vision: What kind of life do we want? What are our shared values? What are we working toward together? What role does each of us play?
By anchoring money decisions in values and long-term goals, we can reduce conflict and find common ground. From there, it becomes easier to reverse-engineer the habits and strategies for saving, spending, and investing that support the vision.
With Families
Families have the opportunity to start positive money conversations early. Mel used a simple “four bucket” system with his son: savings, giving, investing, and living. These buckets aren’t just jars for money; they’re conversation starters that teach intentionality.
- Savings: frugality and preparation
- Giving: generosity
- Investing: future options and freedom
- Living: spending and prioritization
Early, intentional financial education and approaches like this one that can be adapted for any family system help children (and adults) learn not just how to manage money, but why. It shifts the focus from restriction to empowerment.
Final Thoughts
Our financial wellness is deeply connected to our overall well-being. By exploring our money stories, having honest conversations with those closest to us, and building intentional habits aligned with our values, fulfillment and brighter futures become possible.
