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Somewhere between the holidays and the beginning of a new year, our feeds become filled with trend-driven hype and “new year, new you” messaging that feels loud and urgent, suggesting that we need to reinvent ourselves or overhaul our lives.
It’s easy to feel the pressure to set lofty resolutions, chase big goals at full speed, start fresh, and make this the year we finally “get it right.” Yet the reality is that many New Year’s resolutions, while typically made with good intentions, are abandoned by mid-January. Unrealistic expectations, vague goals, waning motivation, a lack of accountability, pressure to conform to external ideals, or unexpected roadblocks can quickly derail even our best efforts.
And yet, when momentum fades or life happens, we rarely question the system, the program, or the plan itself. Instead, we turn the blame inward and assume the problem is us.
Many of us repeat this pattern year after year, hoping for different results.
But what if, instead, we met January and the year ahead in a gentler, kinder way?
Here are a few invitations for how we can approach a new year in a more compassionate way that’s rooted in realistic expectations, gentle self-reflection, and sustainable well-being.
Release the Sense of Urgency
You don’t have to overhaul your life just because the calendar says January. What if you greeted the new year with a pace that actually matches your capacity right now? What would allow you to stay well while still showing up for what matters most?
New habits stick when they fit our real lives, our energy, and our capacity, not because we want them badly enough, and certainly not when we try to do everything at once. Yet so often, people go all in on every goal at once, only to be faced with the real rhythms of daily life and learn that they’ve taken on too much. Everything feels urgent and important, and before long, we’re left feeling overwhelmed.
Give yourself permission to move at a pace that’s sustainable for you. For many, that means sitting with the discomfort of slowing down and gaining clarity on what truly matters.
From there, you can begin to design your days and weeks in ways that honour your capacity and protect your well-being, while still moving forward on your goals and giving your time and energy to what matters most.
Carry Forward Past Wisdom
Rather than wiping the slate clean, honour the wisdom and hard-earned lessons you’ve gathered over the past year. The year behind you holds valuable insights, difficult lessons learned, strengths cultivated, and growth worth bringing forward.
Take a moment to reflect:
- What challenges stretched you?
- What did you learn about yourself?
- When did you feel most like yourself?
- What were some of the bright spots?
- Which practices, habits, people, or routines supported you?
You have a whole repository of lived experiences to inform the year ahead.
It’s also OK to let go of what’s no longer serving you. Sometimes, we hold on to habits or commitments not because they’re supportive, but because they’re familiar, or simply because “it’s how we’ve always done it.” Some things make sense only for a season.
Notice what’s working and what’s not. Look for patterns in your own habits through a lens of curiosity, not judgment.
We’re not starting from zero. We’re starting informed.
What are the lessons or supportive habits you’re choosing not to leave behind? What can you choose to let go of?
Try Feeling-Setting
Instead of getting caught up in rigid resolutions or what you “should” be doing, the invitation here is to try asking yourself: What do I want to feel more of this year?
More grounded? Connected? Energetic? Inspired? Hopeful?
Use these desired feelings as your compass. Then think about the small actions, behaviours, and habits that might bring those feelings to life. For example:
- Grounded: Protect the first hour of your day to tend to your body, mind, and heart.
- Connected: Put down your devices during meals at home.
- Energetic: Prioritize quality sleep with a calm evening routine and consistent bedtime.
- Inspired: Block time in your calendar each day to explore something that lights you up.
It’s about making small, supportive choices that move you a little closer to the way you truly want to feel. I shared more examples of what this could look like in a previous post.
Design Your Days to Include Rest, Recovery, and Self-Care
Rest and time for the things that are perceived as “nonproductive” can feel like guilty indulgences or luxuries rather than necessities. This is reinforced by societal messaging that suggests that if we’re not moving forward on our goals at all times, then we’re already falling behind.
But you do not need to reach a milestone or finish your to-do list before you’re allowed to care for yourself. Proactively protecting time for rest and recovery ensures that your well-being is not treated as an afterthought. Even small, intentional pauses can help regulate an overworked nervous system, create space for emotional processing, and restore the energy needed to engage fully with what matters most.
When we prioritize our wellness, we show up better not only for ourselves, but for the people counting on us.
Choose Hope on Purpose
Hope is a practical, evidence-based strategy for navigating uncertainty, adversity, and everyday life. We cultivate hope through our habits, our relationships, our environments, and the daily choices that align our lives with who we’re becoming.
In a world that feels heavy and unwell, choosing hope can be a powerful antidote. When it’s threaded through our days, we handle the hard parts differently and remain open to what is possible. This is what I’m seeing make the biggest difference for people right now.
The world needs people willing to live hope-filled, believe in brighter days ahead, and pass hope on to those who need it most.
My upcoming book, I Hope So: How to Choose Hope Even When It’s Hard, is dedicated to exploring this mighty yet often overlooked thread and how we can practice it in our everyday lives.
Final Thoughts
If you’re feeling weary from the “shoulds” of this time of year, know that you’re not the only one. I hope these invitations have offered you a sense of permission to approach this new year differently. Permission to set your own pace. Permission to honour your true capacity. Permission to build habits that feel sustainable and aligned with your energy and the way you want to feel. Permission to design days that feel good.
And let’s make this year one where we get our hopes up, together.
