10 Strategies Teenagers Will Follow to Limit Screen Time

The powerful, compelling nature of screen time is with us 24/7. For the 70 percent of people who always have their cell phone within arm’s reach, this is literally true. It’s hard enough for adults to set limits on themselves, but for kids, the allure of screens can be overwhelming and hard to ignore. All too often, the stimulation of other activities (whether one believes this is due to dopamine release or not) pales in comparison to playing a video game or watching a short video on YouTube or TikTok.

It’s fine to let your kids know that you get stuck on your screens. Sharing your understanding of the psychological allure of screens with your preteen and teenage child is an excellent first step in helping them set limits on screen time. This strategy encourages your preteen and teen to question why they are so drawn to screens and what they might substitute for them. You might be surprised by what happens in a genuine, no-blaming conversation with teenagers about their cell phones and other screen time.

What Do Teens Think About Screens?

I have been shocked by my recent conversations with high school students who have a ban on cell phones in their school. I had assumed they would be aghast at the impunity of their school administrators in taking the phones away. Instead, a majority of the teens that my colleagues and I have spoken to seem to welcome the break from their phones. There is less pressure to respond to social media feeds or to constantly check their texts. They also report that their school cafeteria has become a popular spot to hang out and chat with friends.

It’s not helpful for teens to have a “discussion” where adults bemoan the presence of cell phones and other technologies in their world. I don’t encourage efforts to eliminate screen time in your home. We live in a world of technology; mastering it for education, jobs, and communication is a prerequisite for living in the 21st century. Enjoying screen time is also an important part of shared relationships and activities. The goal should be to help your child take charge of their screen time and manage their use of screens in a healthy way, rather than letting it take charge of them. And if there is anything that describes what teenagers want, it’s the opportunity and independence to make decisions for themselves and not be controlled by their parents or teachers. Encourage them to add freedom from technology companies to that list!

10 Strategies Your Teenager Will Embrace to Limit Screen Time

1. Engage in discussions about how tech companies keep them on their screens. You’ll be surprised by how much teenagers already know.
2. Read The Wall Street Journal or listen to financial podcasts like Pivot, which detail the wealth and ambitions of major technology companies. Educate your teenagers about how technology companies generate revenue.
3. Encourage a bit of cynicism (it won’t be hard) to get your teenager to want to fight back against big tech when they feel manipulated.
4. Model the skills to master their technology, not the other way around.
5. Guide them to engage in activities like team sports, rock climbing, crocheting, swimming, and jewelry making, where screen time is not necessary and may even interfere with these interests.
6. Engage in family meditation or yoga (you may use a YouTube video to guide you and to demonstrate a positive use of screen time). Learn and model how to be in the moment, not needing to seek new stimulation. Engage in family mindfulness training to focus on the present moment rather than trying to fill every moment.
7. Learn and model how to be bored, to daydream, to entertain yourself without any toys, tech, or other people. See what comes out of these experiences. Consider it a form of free or unstructured play.
8. Conduct a family audit to distinguish between screen activities that bring value to one’s life and those that are a waste of time or destructive. Read the work of computer scientist Cal Newport, who suggests focusing online time on a small number of activities that support your values.
9. Listen to podcasts together, such as “Screen Deep,” produced by Children and Screens, and “The Screenager’s Podcast,” which present various viewpoints on the positive and problematic impacts of technology on children and teens.
10. Jointly read my book The Gaming Overload Workbook: A Teen’s Guide to Balancing Screen Time, Video Games & Real Life.